Listen!

One thing comes up regularly when I do my “360” background interviews for my coaching clients: “Listen, I want him/her to listen to me.”

Let’s face it, most of us don’t listen well. Instead of truly listening to our partner in a conversation, we often take the time to develop our thoughts so that we can start to speak again just as soon as we get the opportunity. So we make our point, but at what cost? My experience tells me that the cost is great. Rather than being impressed with our linguistic prowess, people are often annoyed, discouraged, or worse…

As a result of this input, I often work on listening skills with my coaching clients. There are various techniques, such as: offer one thought at a time before stopping and waiting for a response; give yourself 30 seconds to make a point, then wrap it up, really. One that I like is more of a concept than a technique: to make them think that you are the best listener in the world. This is easy to say, hard to do. You must put aside your ego and your insecurities. You must let your brilliant thoughts go unuttered. You must hear and understand the words and the message.

Try it. You may learn something.

Perspective

Perspective – do you have it? Of course. Is it correct? It is for you. Or is it? There’s the rub.

When do you need to question your own perspective on an issue? I suggest regularly. If you walk around comfortable with your own view of the world, you will eventually cease to participate and contribute.

As most of us move through life, we tend to become more conservative in our views. OK, change is good, right? Sure, but don’t dismiss the seemingly silly and unrealistic views of others. Consider them first, and then dismiss them, or not. Either way, you will be better for the effort.

Save a Little

Financial advisors suggest we all keep two or three months’ worth of earnings in a current account to cover fnancial emergencies. Business advisors (including me) suggest that organizations create plans for contingencies.

We don’t know everything that is going to happen, and we certainly can’t control the future. So on a personal level, I advise my people to leave a little emotion in the bank. No matter how good or bad things are going, we can quickly be whacked upside the head. Things can get worse.

It is important to plan emotionally for the possiblity of a major setback. This all happens in the head and heart. It is simple in principle but difficult in practice. If we accept the possiblity of a challenge, we are more prepared to deal with it when it occurs.