The Gift of Time

I do not get upset when people cancel or postpone meetings with me. OK, I get a little upset, but then I realize: I have been given the gift of time. When I have set aside some time for someone else, and then I don’t have to meet them, I have time to do something else. So I use it.

I know this is a bit of an illusion, but it works for me. I choose to use this “gift” to do something else that I would not have been able to do until later, or perhaps not at all. To me, that is a gift.

Work as hard as you can…

I believe that work is a good thing. It keeps you occupied. It gives you a challenge – big, small, or in between. It can make the world a better place for others. It provides you and your family with an income. So you should work as hard as you can. This will help to maximize the above attributes.

The very important qualification to the above encouragement is that you must take care of the health and well-being of yourself and your family. So, work as hard and as long as you can, but make certain you are also taking care of your self and your family.

Careful What You Wish For…

If you are currently in the market for a new job, you must do an number of things. The most obvious is to decide what it is that you wish for in a new position. Unfortunately, many job-seekers do not think this through very well. I find in my coaching and recruitment work that people more often frame their wishes in terms of what they want to leave in the old job, rather then what they want to go to in a new job. They do not go through a very thoughtful process.

While there may be legitimate needs to leave features of a current job, one should also stand back and consider: Is it that bad? Can I improve it – without leaving? Will it really be better somewhere else? It sometimes helps to think what the new job may be like after six months… or two years.

It is also worthwhile to consider why you came to your current position. What attracted you? What were you running from? Then consider what has changed. Is it you or the job? This may give you some perspective.

In short, take responsibility for your current situation. Then consider what you can change, in the current position, or somewhere else. This will help you to decide what you really want to do.

Listen!

One thing comes up regularly when I do my “360” background interviews for my coaching clients: “Listen, I want him/her to listen to me.”

Let’s face it, most of us don’t listen well. Instead of truly listening to our partner in a conversation, we often take the time to develop our thoughts so that we can start to speak again just as soon as we get the opportunity. So we make our point, but at what cost? My experience tells me that the cost is great. Rather than being impressed with our linguistic prowess, people are often annoyed, discouraged, or worse…

As a result of this input, I often work on listening skills with my coaching clients. There are various techniques, such as: offer one thought at a time before stopping and waiting for a response; give yourself 30 seconds to make a point, then wrap it up, really. One that I like is more of a concept than a technique: to make them think that you are the best listener in the world. This is easy to say, hard to do. You must put aside your ego and your insecurities. You must let your brilliant thoughts go unuttered. You must hear and understand the words and the message.

Try it. You may learn something.

Perspective

Perspective – do you have it? Of course. Is it correct? It is for you. Or is it? There’s the rub.

When do you need to question your own perspective on an issue? I suggest regularly. If you walk around comfortable with your own view of the world, you will eventually cease to participate and contribute.

As most of us move through life, we tend to become more conservative in our views. OK, change is good, right? Sure, but don’t dismiss the seemingly silly and unrealistic views of others. Consider them first, and then dismiss them, or not. Either way, you will be better for the effort.